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How to get over self judgments stopping to accept the real you?

self judgments
Do you often engage with self-sabotaging thoughts? Do you feel a pang of unusual guilt during most of your life proceedings? Is feeling of unworthiness killing you from inside? Is fear of embarrassments squeezing your natural emotions? If any of this is customary with you, you often press the button of self-judgments. Which phase is this? The hard times when you find more reasons to self-criticize, less to appreciate yourself. Those scary nights when you either accuse yourself of all the wrong happening with people... or you blame people for all the bad in your life. The times when you want to stay alone, but could not find peace even in retreat. In fact, it sinks you deeper. Around all this, you could only suffer like a victim or feel lonely. I’m sure you are dying to get out of the rut! But before looking for an exit route, let me ask you: Have you ever met yourself wherever you are... wearing your own shoes? What I mean is: Did you ever meet your lower self in his slumps? Did you ever treat yourself like your best friend seeking advice? Or you just cannot take the self-beating, and you walk away ignorant, without facing yourself in the mirror of self-awareness? What’s stopping to meet the real you? Most likely your mind is engaging more ━ with people, situations... principally with the outside world. The more you engage, the more you judge them. And those judgments in the outside world are leading to judgments inside. That’s dangerous!! In those mind games, you rarely meet the real you. You just cripple... lost to the outside world. Everyone else controls your emotions, not you. You won't deny: Even if you encounter yourself in this phase, it’s a subconscious encounter, mostly soaked in negative self-talk. Everything during this time just shallows your existence, pushing you well within your unexplored boundaries. Wondering how to surpass this? Your revival setups with a small conscious self encounter Try a simple exercise: Give yourself that me time when you actually step into your own shoes to feel yourself. That zone where there is no one else... not even your mind, not your body. It’s just you talking to your soul! Remember the motive of this session is to feel nice about yourself. Wait... before you start, you need to know: You just cannot jump into your character and start feeling the depth of your soul straightway. I feel there is always a medium to reach there until you are that conscious. Well that medium could be your way of reaching out to yourself. It could be anything which rests you here, in the now, where you are detached outside and connected inside. Playing a sport or Connecting to music, Reading or by Writing, Meditating or by Yoga, Singing or by Dancing, Feeling blessed or Just by being yourself, That’s simply your choice!! Let’s do that... Arrange a small session You with Yourself every day at a fixed time. No one around, just you attending yourself. No thoughts landing anywhere...just sail with flowing time! The session where you try to be good to yourself like you try to be with people. No matter how: deep your insecurities, bad you are hurt, hard you are hit, down you are under... Make sure...

The tale of my sons Mind and Soul

mind and soul
Both my sons, Mind and Soul were born in a small traditional family — Inner World. Soul was the elder one... 9 months elder to my younger son Mind. We shared a deep emotional connection!! Wondering who am I? I am Consciousness, Mother of Mind and Soul. Three of us live here, Inside The Inner World. We don’t have an apparent existence, but yes, we do have a lot of unheard experiences to share. Allow me to talk more about my sons... How did I look at Soul? Soul my son, was honest like a reflection of plain mirror. Be it anything, he kept nothing inside. He expressed whatever... and this was Soul’s biggest strength. He was the most emotional out of us, the reason Soul was super responsive to his deep-rooted essence — Feelings!! About Mind... He had a strange fascination for his thoughts. He was volatile, he was super-active — the traits that made him vulnerable to everything. Anyone could disguise him; Anything could provoke him. So I took extra care of him. In a nutshell: Soul was a composite of feelings Mind was a manifestation of thoughts The childhood bond between both brothers... They spent most of their time together, and so very well bonded. When Mind had a huge respect for his elder brother, Soul also loved his wee brother. As far as I could see, chemistry between my sons was as beautiful as the perfect picture! As Mind was impulsive, I didn’t let him encounter anything head on. I made Soul to meet the new experiences. And then, his responsibility was to direct his younger brother to respond similarly to same encounters. Everyone knew by now that Mind is his elder brother's reflection. Sooner, he stopped getting any personal attention. Soul answered everywhere, even to the questions asked to Mind. Mind never bothered... in fact, he perceived it as the perks of being younger. No face-off with the new, no efforts, no challenges, nothing... just mugging up the responses directed by Soul. It sounded a good deal to Mind! He had now added a layer of dense cushion around him — and that was the thick boundary of his comfort zone. By and by... Mind became habitually complacent, and Soul was now thoroughly leading his younger brother. All of this was happening under my supervision. I questioned none... neither the expressiveness of Soul nor the ignorance of Mind. We were...

What Happens to the Brain During Spiritual Experiences?

Brain During Spiritual
What is Spirituality ? Spirituality is a concept of being connected with the soul, in other terms it can be called as something bigger than ourselves. The aim of spirituality always involves the search for life. Spiritual experiences can be categorized as sacred or religious but it has a bigger meaning than all of these. It is a deep sense of aliveness and interconnectedness.  “The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.” Whether a person is religious or not, they might have faced moments in their life when they wanted to connect their brains to some spiritual experiences, the moments when they wanted to feel sensibility and give meaning to their life. The serenity that they feel with the spiritual connection to the brain is beyond the imagination.  What is Spiritual Experiences ? Spiritual states of mind are something which strongly connects you to a stronger or bigger force which can be felt in the form of energy, God, deity, higher power or abstract figure, and consciousness. The connection is in terms of meaningfulness, connectivity towards world, and serenity. Spiritual experiences are powerful as they have a have intense impacts on people’s lives. Scientists have identified a part of the brain called the parietal cortex whose one region is believed to be involved in experiences that go beyond our normal state of mind called spiritual power.  It is clearly known that spirituality is an internal part of healing, it is a source of strength for the one suffering from distress. Spirituality enriches various aspects of our lives including physical, emotional, mental, and relational. Spirituality encloses various aspects of human life and is also a means of undergoing several forms of life. While faith is connected to religious expressions and might not be necessarily a component of spirituality. Spirituality is expressed in the form of beliefs, attitudes, and practices that influence the lives of people. How can Spirituality be Attained? Spirituality can be attained through many spiritual traditions that have been in the history from a long time such as Meditation, prayer, yoga, and journaling using contemplative practices to increase empathy, attention, and compassion, as well as peace of mind.  Meditation- Meditation induces feelings of clear-headedness and calmness. It also improves attention and concentration. A study has proved that meditation increases the grey matter density of the brain, which helps in reducing sensitivity towards pain, help you regulate difficult emotions, enhances the immune system, and relieves stress. Prayers- It triggers the sense of relaxation, along with feelings of gratitude, compassion, and hope which have a positive impact on the overall wellbeing of the human being. There are a variety of prayers which believe that there is some higher power which has a great influence...

How I Slipped into Depression; What I did to Revive Like Never

How did I slip into depression? I was super-sensitive to every emotion, irrespective positive or negative. I didn’t know where to draw the line.  Positive triggers like success, appreciation, love, took me all over to the moon. And the negative forces of failure, criticism, hatred, left deep bruises on my mind. Success made me feel like an invincible winner, while the failures, the biggest loser. My ability to feel emotions strongly was a boon in my lovely childhood and teenage days. That's because the situations back then triggered positive emotions. I didn't know the meaning of negativity, leave apart feeling it.  But after then, it was a complete turnaround. It was not a tragedy or a loss. Nothing major happened, but it was just a gradual accumulation of negative emotions, which turned my life upside down. It was such a slow process I never realized till I drowned under the depth of countless thoughts. What led to my downfall?  It was that vulnerable age I was standing in the outset of an uncertain future. I had no answers to my question- What Next? It was the early twenties —dreams and ambitions like every other, with an upbeat to pursue the best career. But every beat was falling flat. I was unable to find the best walk ahead. This dilemma lasted for unusually long, and I felt insecure for the first time. My alter ego sunk to the all-time low. I stopped loving myself, and others. Suddenly, everyone looked hostile. It was the phase when instances provoking negative emotions completely outnumbered the ones fuelling positive emotions.  I was losing my self-worth as the negative thoughts attacked my vulnerable mind in unison. And the hole was dug too deep for my mind to breathe, and it submerged under the countless thoughts.  I was down and under and finally fell prey to depression.  I consulted a doctor (precisely psychiatrist) who prescribed the conventional antidepressants. Those pills comforted my mind initially, but never did I realize that it was the dawn of worse things to follow. Alcohol lured my mind to elusive happiness The antidepressants, after a while, had stopped soothing. The freshness of mind had turned into an impossible dream. Not finding shoulders to lean on, I got lured by Alcohol’s friendship offer. It accompanied my lonely nights, promised me a fairyland every night but pushed me to the bleak reality every subsequent morning. I diluted alcohol for some time, but within no time, it started diluting my potent self. My poor mind was as helpless as a lamb in the hands of a butcher. It continued for 2 long years... the same hungover morning giving way to...

Boring life? 4 super effective ways to break the monotony

Kind attention: Read if your fight is not only materialistic in nature but also for eternal happiness while fighting! Boring life: What defines your monotonous life? My monotony of life? This generation’s monotonous life? A haunting tradition following since the X generation! It’s a pre-defined conventional journey — starts with a super active kid in school, an adventurous teenager in college days, and then? As soon as you enter the late twenties and early thirties, don’t you feel we become a puppet dancing off-beat to the tune of a monotonous life? You won’t disagree more or less we share a common story. We’ll talk a little about every phase starting teenage. The time before that does not qualify for scrutiny. You were very much soulful then. The tender teenage is the age when most of us are on an exploring spree. It’s the most exciting phase when most of us are introduced to new experiences. The thrills of hormonal attraction, the adventure of bunking classes, the excitement of a new phone, fear of failures, sadness inflicting loss, and what not… Life events are not customary and that’s the best part of this time. Every moment awaits to capture a new experience. Moving to the next phase is the dawn of adulthood when most of us experience almost every new emotion we possibly could. By now, we prioritize and move forward with life’s available choices. But what next? Don’t you realize your life stagnates thereafter? Yes… the majority of us stand at the doorstep of a monotonous life. ‘That’s because we turn into: spouses, parents, grandparents in the personal sphere an employee or an employer in a professional career a mere reputation in the social environment Till over and out.’ Please keep reading even if you haven’t reached this state; you are nearer than you think! That’s because soon a customary routine takes over to define your life’s monotonous process until your final gasp. Most have compromised with it. But you don’t belong there; the reason you are here. Allow me to offer: 4 super effective ways to break the monotony of everyday life: Take mind breaks When you programme your mind into a routine existence; your mind becomes a jailor and your soul a prisoner. Your life isn’t a beautiful exploration journey anymore. I may sound silly if I ask you: Do you wait for the holidays? Everyone does! Most of us work our asses off the entire week to enjoy on weekends. But does that mean you are eligible for happiness only on weekends? I don’t know much but I am sure about this: We cannot assign a particular date, time, and place for happiness. My friend; even happiness seems monotonous this way. What I feel we need this break every day. Any small conscious mind break is capable to break your routine existence. Listening to music, exercising, or maybe a long drive — any such monotony breaker not involving your mind is capable to rejuvenate your soul. And when you do that, you realize happiness does not involve the mind, it’s an essence of the soul. Did you know? Not only feeling happiness, but a mind rest daily can also raise its potency drastically. Here is a summary of recent research...

Hard to break up with your social Environment? Here’s the Courage you need

Are you losing beautiful people in the process of pleasing the social environment? A renowned musician Bob Marley once said: Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for. So beginning with, let’s meet the people surrounding you indigenous to distinct environments: We’ll start with the most essential sphere... Personal Environment: Generally, the people from this domain are beautiful. The most admirable quality about them is they can distinguish your real self from your fabrications. Wondering what’s the chemistry you share with the people from your personal environment? A sense of belongingness budding from attachment! And sometimes, this intimacy inflicts unbearable pain. You won’t deny the stronger the connection, the deeper it hurts. But is this attachment a setback? No, it’s not. Come on! They are an integral part of your life; he/she is your life partner, parent, kid, sibling, and friend. You seek and reciprocate love in this sphere. There are certain responsibilities you owe towards each other. You share a strong connect anyway — physical, emotional, mental, financial. Obviously, when all of this is happening, an attachment has to seep from either side. And that’s perfectly fine! No wonder, misunderstandings hurt sentiments on a few occasions. Yes, sometimes obligations are overburdening. There are times when you exhaust fulfilling their expectations. And there are situations when you feel a prisoner because of dependency. Look: No two individuals are the same and sometimes, miscommunications may cause distress in the relationship.  Having said: Stop blaming attachment for covering own inefficiency and incompetence. Do you realize how essential is this bond? Not only the soft cries but this deep attachment also bestows you with blissful memories to cherish. Where losing a family member inflicts pain; arrival of a family member spreads joy. Sometimes these people make you cry; most of the times they offer you a hundred reasons to smile. When an unfulfilled expectation hurts; a fulfilled wish rejuvenates. When they make you realize your mistakes; they are the only ones appreciating your credentials. When they blame; they even apologize. I’m sure you agree with most of the episodes. And for those beautiful reasons, make sure the ego never obstructs your way to a healthy personal environment.  Let’s jump to the next dimension... Professional environment: Much like your personal sphere, you need to make adjustments here too. Most of us are employers or employees in the professional environment; right? If you are an employee, you need to respect your boss. If you are a boss, you need to appreciate your employees. After all, the byproduct is money on which everyone strives. As I always say: Money is not every reason but the first reason for happiness.  The professional environment is a vital sphere demanding your meticulous attention. So yes, blending with the people from this world is your unsung priority. And that’s fine again. But are we done? Did you meet everyone? No, you didn’t. Suddenly from the last few years, a new environment has evolved polluting all the other aspects of your life. What’s that? Social environment: It’s an illusionary environment created by you. It is destroying the habitats of your primary two environments. Social media as a testimony; do you realize how it’s unidentified addiction is mercilessly...

13 practical reasons to unlock consciousness- the most blissful experience for mind and soul

Do you know most of us are sharing a common problem? consciousness: In today’s materialistic world of cynical realism, a sensitive mind often loses awareness in the present moment. It surrenders to people and situations by dancing to the tune of subconsciousness. As a result, not only what to think but your mind also loses control over how much to think. The problem does not end here: (Consciousness) Soul-driven feelings become less responsive. Ultimately, you defeat the sole purpose of life- “To feel happy”. Don’t worry! You are not the only one suffering. You might be wondering: How to uncover a state where feeling positive emotions, and denying feelings to negative emotions, becomes a choice? Fortunately, this isn’t as hard as it sounds. Time to get familiar with consciousness: Consciousness refers to your individual awareness of your unique thoughts, memories, feelings, sensations, and environment. In fact, many intellectuals have defined it. Do you want to know how I perceive it?  Here’s my definition of consciousness: It’s an experience in which mind rejuvenates the thoughts and soul revives the feelings; the resultant thoughts and feelings are faithful to each other. Consciousness is the state where not only you do whatever you feel but also feel whatever you do. Let’s jump right into the reasons to activate consciousness... 13 reasons to evoke consciousness: 1. Conscious people live a monotonous life happily  As it’s a bread-butter fight, most of us follow a fixed routine. While you struggle to find happiness in the monotony, conscious people always feel blissful. They cherish every moment regardless of the skeptical nature from the outside world. 2. Consciousness provokes fearlessness People-Situations-Death; most of us fear any of three. You are fearful unaware fear relates to the future. Consciousness is a gateway to happiness as every moment is a spontaneous bliss. Conscious people do nothing different to create a beautiful future. They just live the present moment gracefully.  3. Consciousness liberalizes to choose between thinking and feeling While sub-consciousness is a gateway to negative thinking and sadness, consciousness is the key to positive thinking and happiness. It is a double-edged sword which enables you to activate either thinking or feeling one at a time.  Want to know how? While working, it keeps the thinking mode on. During a holiday, it allows your feeling component to dominate your thoughts; the reason you crave for holiday breaks or should I say mind brakes? 4. A conscious person is hungry and hopeful at the same time I consider it the biggest outcome. You might have undue expectations from people. But it’s untrue for conscious people. They don’t have unrealistic expectations which hurt. They are content but not complacent; they endure but are happy; they fight but never fear to lose. Even if conscious people don’t get appreciation from people, their self-motivation speaks loud. 5. Conscious people speak on people’s face, never behind their back Are you courageous enough to speak your soul out? It’s only possible when you are conscious! Conscious people are true to oneself and everyone. It’s because not only they see the ideal path but also have the guts to stride on it. They express whatever they feel including negativity. Maybe their friend list is small but worthy of a lifelong friendship. 6. Conscious people enjoy...

A conscious mind is a gateway to happiness

Yes, it all starts with your mind...

My Mind is Fighting a Lost Battle Against Time

Mind is Fighting a Lost Battle Against Time
My mind runs here, there, everywhere trying to win the race against time. It retreats to the past, leaps into the future, only to lose in the present. My present moment is rolling but my mind is ahead or behind it. The poor mind is losing in both cases and you know who’s winning? Time!!! I never realized when it became a competition which is impossible. Time proposed friendship; tried to make my mind realize no one can compete against it, offered to go hand in hand, urged ending animosity. But the audacious mind filled with ego wishes to win over an invincible enemy. Unlike mind, time never called it a fight, flowing at a consistent pace, faithful to everyone. But my mind always gets deceived by its transparency. In the quest to reach everywhere before time, it is always beaten! No wonder, my mind is an immensely powerful tool. It flaunts its power but in self-admiration, forgets everyone and everything is a slave to time. Both rivals have a best friend... I’m sure you want to meet their respective friends. Meet ‘Intoxication’, my mind’s best friend. It possesses qualities of being the best friend. It makes my mind dance in good times, a pain-reliever in bad times.  But my young inexperienced mind cannot identify intoxication’s cruel intentions. Not only it has monetary demands but also seized independence.  Intoxication takes my mind for a drive to the future, reverses gear and accelerates to the past. But throws it to the unpleasant reality soon. My unaware mind, hoaxed by the illusionary happiness depends on intoxication. It gets deceived by the sweetness, not one day but every day. The time watches everything silently and loves these illusionary games! My mind doesn’t realize flowing with time would solve most of its problems, could eliminate every negativity-causing-element.          Wait... before you declare time the winner hands down, let me tell you my mind wins moments when it has materialistic possessions including power, but time is smiling on the other corner waiting to win the final battle. Sometimes, I request time on my mind’s behalf to wait for me, but time remains silent. It’s best friend does the talking. Time to unveil time’s best friend ... It is none other than ‘Karma.’ It is brutally honest, one powerful unit. Time is silent, but its best friend Karma is violent. They share a beautiful chemistry. Questions on time, karma takes the responsibility of answers. Time defines the best part... the answers of karma. The style of karma’s answering is different, more of a beating. Poor mind, unable to face the wrath not only lost but also accepted the loss. Yes... my mind realized that it was fighting a lost battle. Finally, my mind pleaded to time ... I lost to you, proud; Karma taught me loud. Creepy thoughts are dominant, Laugh when I say I’m confident. I want to age with you; I want to walk with you. help or it’s my end, comprehend my friend. Not an easy task to convince time who thought it could be a mind’s ploy.  But the time filled with self-respect accepted it with open arms.  It responded ... In the quest of running, you...

Why feel the present moment when it is hostile?

Everyone has their way of defining happiness and reaching that state. But the basis remains the same for everyone.  My dear friend,  Happiness is awareness and appreciation of the present moment!!! Whatever you do being aware in the present moment, it bestows you with happiness. You feel blessed and appreciate everything. You are less prone to stress and negativity.  Rightly quoted by Gautama Buddha... “Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.”  Better said than done... Everyone encounters many such moments when we feel like running away from our present. Some situations are hostile, some moments are just not worthy enough to feel them. If we feel those moments, we stress more, we agonize more.  I’m sure you can relate to any of these following hostile moments... How can you… enjoy the present seeing a physically challenged beggar lying down on the side street? extract happiness from the surroundings when rapes and killings are happening around you? feel happy in the present when you are hungry and you don’t know the source of the next bread? dwell in the present when you are a failure today? feel the present when you lose a family member in a sudden demise? Seriously, why will you make your present-moment-journey tougher living in the present when facing your present is already tough?  If this is what you feel, let me tell you that your curiosities have landed on the right harbor. Let us try to unlock our mental mysteries... But before that, let me bombard a few questions on you... Were you happy when there was no reason to feel sad? Was everything fine when life was fair? Were you cheerful when the situations were not adverse? Did you enjoy the surroundings when everything around was beautiful? Were you high on life when you were successful? Did you value them when they were alive? If you ask me ‘Why feel the present moment when it is hostile’, I ask you… ‘Did you feel the present moment when it was unhostile?’ I’m sorry but my question is serious than yours!!! This is what you need to ask yourself first so that I can answer your question. And if any of these above-asked questions is taking you to the self-analysis mode, you are getting hurt. You know why? It’s because you are guilty of playing the blame game and situations. And now you are finding it hard to take the blame on yourself!!! Yes... now you become eligible to find the answer to your question… ‘Why feel the present moment when it is hostile?’ My dear friend...it’s easy to blame life, situations, people as per your convenience but what’s tough is to stop getting affected by it. It’s easy to run from the present, but what’s hard is to stay there even in unfavorable situations.  In reality, you cannot escape the reality. No matter how hard you try to run, it will catch up with your speed, and this time with a harder intensity.  Turning your face away from a challenging situation by taking the help of medication, and intoxication most times...






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