Emotional and Mental Health

Is your mind crumbling under the pressure to deliver for your loved ones? Are you choking for breath under the fear of society and relationships judging your every move? Is your unworthy job or shaming unemployment raising serious allegations on your capabilities, and you cannot get over your self-judgments? Or maybe you have everything you desire, but there's still a void, an emptiness obscuring the clarity, and the gray follows where you have no answers to your monkey mind. If you are any of the many of us, exhale out your loneliness as it's not only your story.  And we don’t have to commit suicide to get ourselves heard. Yes I used the word Suicide because this is how far depressive thoughts take us sometimes, till the edge of an end.  I promise we shall overcome it together. How does depression feel like?  Although there are different types of depression, I'll try to express that generic feeling in depression I encounter in bouts at uncertain intervals. In my experience, depression feels like: someone is sitting inside my head constantly judging.  a burden to live for the people who are toying with my emotions to fulfill their undue expectations. a loser who never was, and will never be worthy enough. a rat who wants to hide in a hole where society can’t see. pain is endless suffering. Even if there is no reason to feel sad, I cannot find any reason to feel happy. The quandary elevates further where feelings enter the void and there are no expressions at all. That's when I’m convinced the life on the other side is better. Ouch! it hurts to accept this, but that’s how the face of depression looks like in the form of prolonged sorrow turning on the gloominess where joy seems beyond reach. Trails of recovery in broken pieces This is an interesting detail of what happened after an intense suicidal thought. In the silence of the dark, when I thought it's all over, there was a flash of nostalgic memories sending a cool breeze to the face of divine soul.  I felt absolute peace ever While eying death as close, my stress, fear, anxiety, sorrow, suffering, possessions, identifications, all suddenly dropped completely. It was the lightest I ever felt.  I don't know how, but a wave grew out of the blue that swept all the temporary dwellings, each false projection of mind. I sensed freedom, and that provoked a nothing-to-lose attitude that was ready to accept the now and welcome the new. Now I was not wandering unconsciously inside the illusionary boundaries of mind. There was a will to taste every challenge without a drop of complacency. I was singing on the rocks, dancing in the mountains, so to speak. I was feeling my soul beyond thoughts and emotions. It was an experience where I was celebrating my breaths like a comeback from something as devastating as a suicidal thought. I was feeling it, the inhales, and the exhales, sinking deeper with each conscious breath. Yes the power of now was magical as everything was flowing effortlessly then and there. Those moments transpired a recovery. Unlike before, I don't live in the smugness of realized...

Do you fear friends or colleagues will find out you are not as worthy as they think? Or you feel your success (irrespective big or small) was a fluke and people will soon find out you are a fraud? Don't worry it's the Impostor Syndrome where you feel like a fraudulent, a pretender, a hoaxer (which you are not). Approximately 70 percent of people will experience at least one episode of impostor syndrome in their lives. What's Impostor Syndrome? Why is it vicious? Often spelled as Imposter, feeling an Impostor is incompetence to deal with your imperfections and perform at the highest standards you set for yourself. It’s like riding high on egomania while enjoying success and then sliding down to fear of being called a cheater or a fraud. You feel like a loser irrespective how successful you are. It makes you incapable to focus on your current work, living in obscurity, not opening up to new opportunities. Rewards and Recognition do more harm than good where you feel you cannot justify your credentials in the upcoming project, and you fear people will know about your incompetence. The feeling of an Impostor kills creativity where you are constantly self-judging. You are too hard on yourself overthinking about people’s opinion of you.  It retracts you from the present moment, discharging the concentration, denting your flow, and jolts your personal and professional growth.  The good news is that you are not alone! Celebrity quotes on Impostor Syndrome: When I was younger, I just did it. I just acted. It was just there. So now when I receive recognition for my acting, I feel incredibly uncomfortable. I tend to turn in on myself. I feel like an impostor. It was just something I did. —Emma Watson    Sometimes I wake up in the morning before going off to a shoot, and I think, I can’t do this. I’m a fraud. —Kate Winslet   No matter what we've done, there comes a point where you think, 'How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me? —Tom Hanks     I have written eleven books, but each time I think, 'uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out. —Maya Angelou  My Encounter with Impostor Syndrome  Insightful publications like Lifehack, Pick the Brain, Purpose fairy, Dumb Little Man published my articles. I received accolades for these, including some of my works published on my blog. Why am I bragging? The critic appreciation prod to deliver more, as I began expecting too much out of myself. I started fearing people’s eyes, thinking about them, all of it abstaining from workflow, diminishing my quality of work, questioning my talent and abilities. I could not write, unable to get rid of the perfectionist inside me self-judging constantly. My creativity fired many times, soon to nosedive into a polluted pool of uncertainties. I could not do love doing most — Expressing my thoughts and emotions. And that led to Impostor Syndrome where there were dilemmas and ambiguity, causing fear and my lower self cried: People will...

Yes, it all starts with your mind...

Just like every organ has a respective purpose, our mind is responsible for conscious thinking. Having said, it has become the invincible conqueror ruling (or should I say ruining) most aspects of our lives.  To think less is the need of the hour. But unfortunately, it has become the biggest challenge for most of us. Does it signify thinking is unimportant? Na... never said that! It’s a materialistic world my friend, and thinking is as essential as food. Wondering what’s the concern? Most of us cannot control: The frequency of thoughts The quality of thoughts We are so glued to our thoughts we are sub-consciously missing one vital phenomenon which makes us complete — Feeling emotions. And as a result: Most of us think more and feel less. What you don’t realize: Happiness — the ultimate purpose of life is a feeling. And only when you feel more and think less; you experience the untouched avenues of happiness. “Get out of your head and get into your heart. Think less, feel more.” ~Osho Strange: In the quest to become happy, most of us don’t pay attention to the quotient without which happiness remains an untouched dream — the feeling quotient. When I was struggling to feel happiness, never did I explore this side; never dug so deep. Or should I say missed the basics? Interestingly, even after knowing it, there remains an unsolved mystery. What? Let’s find out: No wonder, feeling emotions is important. Agreed... feeling positive emotions is vital. But are there only positive emotions? What about the negative emotions seeking reciprocation from feelings? So you see... just we think we got the answer, intrigues a big question: Is it important to feel negative emotions as well? A definite yes! Sounds silly? It’s not: This is the catch most of us miss, leading to the inability in maintaining a healthy balance in work and relationships. Look: Thinking and Feeling are two sailors of your lifeboat. While thinking sails you to the materialistic world; the feeling quotient is the captain of your inner world. Coming back to why is it important to feel negative emotions: I hate to disappoint you but only feeling positive emotions is a cowardly act. When there are highs, there are lows. Sometimes the conditions are favorable sometimes unfavorable. If there is positivity in this world, there is negativity. We... the human beings are full of emotions. When we are all smiles while feeling positive emotions, it is our responsibility to listen to the cries of negative emotions. And only then, there is an acceptance and a way out.  I don’t know much but I’m sure about this: You need to feel the negative emotions to get rid of the pain inflicted by it. Ironical warning: Running away from feeling negative emotions is easy. There are many illusionary tricks — medicines, alcohol, drugs. But is it a permanent solution? Can you escape reality? Doesn’t the negative emotions hit back harder with a stronger intensity? My dear friend... feeling the negative emotions are always better than trying to evade the unsung truth. What I strongly feel, always feeling upbeat dilutes the extracts of positivity, and even happiness seems monotonous this way. So feel every emotion you experience to...

Even if you are not a winner, appear like one. It is one of the most important traits of your personality to lead a healthy life. It is the reflection of your self-belief. A confident person lives far better life than a person with low self- confidence. Well, there are simple things that help in acquiring this particular trait. One is your lifestyle. Most of the times, your physical appearance reflects your self-confidence. Now, do not confuse between your looks and appearance. Your looks are not under your control, but you can always monitor the way you appear. Your presence creates your aura, which always has to be compelling to look self-confident. Always keep in mind that an early bird catches the most worms. A fit person appears more confident than others. Therefore, your appearance makes a lot of impact on the people you meet. Moreover, a smile can do wonders. A smile welcomes a smile. A happy person invites others to converse with him/her. Make eye contact and maintain your body posture while talking. You can practice it in front of the mirror. Rest assured, it helps. Moreover, you must know what to speak. Never try to impress others with false statements. At the same time, never try to impose your ideas on others. There is a thin line between confidence and arrogance.   Be confident in thinking and attitude. Talk to random person whenever you get a chance. Be generous and kind but don’t over apologize. Don’t worry, nobody is perfect, so tie your laces and take on the world.          

Do you only feel negative during this lockdown? With pain and helplessness all around, With your self-identity forced to switch roles, With a jolted normal for unpredictably long, The thought pop ups cannot be exciting. Infact most of them are negative... Relax... that's human! And it's not only your story. This is the first time we fall on the same page.  But maybe... this lockdown... most of us went all too far. Let's Address the Problem Fear... Dilemmas... Uncertainties... Anxiety... You are thinking too much about the future.  Overflowing thoughts drive you everywhere you don't want to reach. Now that lays the foundation of a quandary. Because when this unconscious flow of thoughts continues, it leads to mental diarrhea, which soon attacks your emotions.  Ahh... now that hurts! With thoughts already conflicting, this lockdown came up with another challenge... Managing emotions... a bigger task than managing mind. Do you know what's the result of mismanaged thoughts and emotions? Your crude feelings turn negative!! Once your feelings turn negative, no matter how hard you try, you cannot feel happy.  And that's what is happening to most of us.... sitting at homes... having nothing to do.  Bodies are locked down, but minds still wandering. Painful state this... densely negative!  The good news: We can get out of here. Let's talk about the revival now! How to Revive From State Where Feelings Turned Negative? Arrange a session You with Yourself where you are disconnected from the outside world.  No people, no cell phones, no distraction whatsoever... Start with a minimum of 30 min session whenever you get Time. Time... not a difficult thing to find during this lockdown... isn’t it? I agree some of my friends would get offended about that. And that's because there are many samaritans who volunteered to step out of their houses to serve people and nation in anyways. And there are also individuals who could not afford Me time as they were, and still are busy with their household chores. But I must say, sacrifice that 30 min of sleep even if you have to, but during this lockdown, everyone needs that session, that session of self-introspection. So what do you do in that session? Do nothing different! Quitely get back to basics... Remind yourself that everything started with your mind... overflowing with negative thoughts... for an extended period. And that's what touched the depth of feelings. So to revive your positive feelings, you need to get back to your thoughts. Go for it! Just sit comfortably, preferably with closed eyes, and observe your thoughts coming and leaving. Don't pay attention to any. Allow them to pass by. Stop participating.... stop involving with any thought... even the ones you call positive.              We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves. — Buddha Why do you stop paying attention to positive thoughts? You might be wondering: No attention to negative thoughts... sounds logical! But why should I stop paying attention to positive thoughts? Because that's a ploy. That's deliberate from the mind to convince you to interact with thoughts. So that you hook to it... and finally get carried away by the flow of it. It's a mind's...

"Whatever goes around comes around." Yes, it is the bottom-line of Karma. Karma is our action or deed; no matter how small or big. Whatever we do, has an objective behind it. Karma also deals with that objective. If we do something good to others but it has an evil intention behind it, then according to karma, it is wrong. Likewise, if we make a mistake but the objective behind it is pure and pious, then karma treats you accordingly. Let us take an example. If we steal a coin and give it to a beggar who is in need, the motive behind it is compassion. Here, the act of helping overpowers the act of stealing. Therefore, whatever we do, it should have a noble intention behind it. It is what "Karma" teaches us.    

Straight out, it is your way of looking at things and people. Negativity is only the one side of the coin. Yes, there could be many things happening around you that you don’t like. In fact, there are two set of things leading to negativity... Things happening around you, which can be seen by everyone... Every another day, you read the newspapers or scroll down on facebook to find out about the brutal crimes, the freaking accidents, the untimely demises, the deadly diseases, the uprooting poverty and many such incidents to affect you adversely for quite some time. Things happening inside you, which can only be seen by you... It is good to be self-aware but yes, you may not always look beautiful when you see yourself in the mirror. And when you don't do something about the same, it infuses elements fuelling negativity. Those elements are jealousy, comparison with others, pervert thoughts, materialistic addiction, self-harming thoughts and so on. Interestingly, there is a sub-category in this aspect. And this category is negativity because of expectations. Always remember that expectations from people and of people, both infuses negativity. It is because sometimes the expectations are fulfilled and sometimes not. And when the expectations fail because of betrayals, broken trusts or failures, it's by-product feeling induces negativity. If are not a victim of it yet, keep sailing the way you are. And if you have gone through it, not a problem either. The only thing is that you learned it the hard way. The good thing about these things happening to you is that it teaches you the best of life lessons, if you are ready to perceive it that way. The worst part... When you cannot stop and change the wrong happenings, it leads to negativity. See, there are different kinds of people living on this planet. All are different and somewhere that is the cause of stability as well. If you ask me how to get rid of it... You cannot change the course of nature. Everything is not under your control. But yes, you are fully in control of the things happening around you and inside you. And if something is happening wrong, be aware of it and take the responsibility of changing it. Nonetheless, what you can do is see the other side of the coin; THE POSITIVE SIDE. There could also be people who love you. There could be many things and situations which are favorable to you. There could be your credentials and achievements, which might give you a sense of pride and self-motivation. Friends, why are you not able to feel and realize it? The reason could be you are too busy sniffing the negativity than to count your blessings. What else you can do is start expressing your negativity in any form, be it by speaking out, writing, exercising, be it any form as you look. But never retain it inside. You know, expressing negativity in any form is also your deliberate attempt to convert your negativity into positivity. Time for some Practical Realizations...  Look, the ideal conditions are not...

First of all, let us define self-control: According to Vocabulary.com, "Self-control is the quality that allows you to stop yourself from doing things you want to do but that might not be in your best interest." My dear friend, today’s world is full of alluring mediums where you fall prey to the materialistic forces for momentary happiness. Resisting the temptation has become extremely difficult.  Getting carried away to these tempting drives might give you instant happiness and success. It is the reason why you begin to lose your self-control and commit yourself to these choices. But is the success and happiness derived by committing to it real? Does it really last for a lifetime? Let us find out... Why is Self-Control Important? Straight out, there are no shortcuts to success, and happiness derived after fulfilling the never-ending desires is short-lived. You got the reason why is it short-lived. It is because those desires are never-ending. The fulfillment of one just makes making way for the other, resulting in a never-ending vicious flow. This momentary happiness is soon followed by regret. And trust me, this regret adversely affects the self-love. And if continued further, it may even lead to self-harming thoughts. It is immensely important to stay away from these drives. And this is why your self-control has a vital role to play. The stronger your self-control, the less you fall prey to the luring drives.  A few daily-life practical examples where self-control is important... Student, self-control is resisting the temptation of going to your best friend's birthday celebration today when he/she has a difficult exam tomorrow. Ice-cream lover, self-control is resisting the temptation of eating it when you are on a fitness diet. Married man, self-control is resisting the temptation of getting carried by the physical beauty of another woman. Sugar patient, self-control is resisting the temptation of sweets and desserts. Parent, self-control is resisting the temptation of raising hands on your child when he/she commits a mistake. Stressed person, self-control is resisting the temptation of alcohol, which is an elusive stress buster. Monetary-struggler, self-control is resisting the temptation to earn quick money by unethical means like gambling or theft. Failure, self-control is the resisting the temptation of giving up. I am sure you can relate to any of these instances.How is Self-Control Connected to Self-Esteem? In such a competitive and stressful environment where every man is for themselves, self-esteem has become quite essential. And it is your self-control, which is responsible for your boosted self-esteem. If you keep falling prey to the alluring mediums, you will never be able to ride high on your self-esteem. Ultimately, you shall keep on denying the internal happiness. On the contrary, you just need one big situation where you resist yourself to the alluring temptation via self-control. Then off you go, your self-esteem and self-love get an automatic boost. And this boost acts as a solid base to resist the upcoming temptations. Let us find out how this entire process works... AN INDIVIDUAL – SELF-CONTROL – CHARACTER BUILDING  – AVOIDANCE OF MATERIALISTIC TEMPTATIONS – HIGH SELF-ESTEEM –  REAL HAPPINESS. First and foremost, self-control has to be your initiation to do the...

Do you often engage with self-sabotaging thoughts? Do you feel a pang of unusual guilt during most of your life proceedings? Is feeling unworthy killing you from inside? Is fear of embarrassments squeezing your natural emotions? If any of this is customary with you, you often press the button of self-judgments. Which phase is this? The hard times when you find more reasons to self-criticize, less to appreciate yourself. Those scary nights when you either accuse yourself of all the wrong happening with people... or you blame people for all the bad in your life. The times when you want to stay alone, but could not find peace even in retreat. In fact, it sinks you deeper. Around all this, you could only suffer like a victim or feel lonely. I’m sure you are dying to get out of the rut! But before looking for an exit route, let me ask you: Have you ever met yourself wherever you are... wearing your own shoes? What I’m curious about is: You ever stayed with your shallow self in his slumps? Did you ever treat yourself like your best friend seeking advice? Or you just cannot take the self-beating, and you walk away ignorant, without facing yourself in the mirror of self-awareness? What’s stopping to meet the real you? Most likely your mind is overthinking ━ about people, situations... all in the outside world. The more you think, the more you judge them. And those judgments in the outside world are leading to judgments inside. That’s dangerous!! In those mind games, you rarely meet the real you. You just cripple... lost to the outside world. Everyone else controls your emotions, not you. You won't deny: Even if you encounter yourself in this phase, it’s a subconscious encounter, mostly soaked in negative self-talk. Everything during this time just shallows your existence, pushing you well within your unexplored boundaries. Wondering how to surpass this? Your revival setups with a small conscious self encounter Try a simple exercise: Give yourself that me time when you actually step into your own shoes to feel yourself. That zone where there is no one else... not even your mind, not your body. It’s just you talking to your soul! Remember the motive of this session is to feel light about yourself. Wait... before you start, you need to know: You just cannot jump right into your character and start feeling the depth of your soul straightway. I feel there is always a medium to reach there until you are that conscious. Well that medium could be your way of reaching out to yourself. It could be anything which rests you here, in the now, where you are detached outside and connected inside. Playing a sport or Connecting to music, Reading or by Writing, Meditating or by Yoga, Singing or by Dancing, Feeling blessed or Just by being yourself, That’s simply your choice!! Let’s do that... Arrange a small session You with Yourself every day at a fixed time. No one around, just you attending yourself. No thoughts landing anywhere...just sail with flowing time! The session where you try to be good to yourself like you try to be with people. No matter how: deep your insecurities, bad you are hurt, hard you are hit, down you are under... Make sure you host yourself with...