4 Mindshifts During This Lockdown to Keep You in Sanity
The extended lockdown period... is it taking a toll on your mental health?
Are you yearning to step out of lockdown to fulfill your desires?
Is the pain of world outside transiting into your suffering?
Do you struggle to utilize the Me time you never got before?
Do you foresee uncertainties, leading to dilemmas, on the other side of pandemics?
If any of these is happening with you during the Corona outbreak, your mind is turning into a theatre of psychological dramas.
High time mate! You better stop engaging with your thoughts.
Let’s understand what’s cooking
A hell lot is happening around you, infact the whole world is suffering.
Like too much to take!
And amidst all these, the viral pictures of grief, remorse, sorrow, helplessness, are everywhere, in social media and news channels, making worse for the mind to sail smoothly with this life transition.
The normal routine... regular thinking patterns... all disrupted!
Nothing is motivating, nothing seems inspiring about the world right now.
To add final nail to the coffin, this extended lockdown period!
What all of it is resulting to?
Overflowing thoughts... conspiring against each other, causing severe damage to your sanity.
I was hit hard by lows during this quarantine.
And as I always do, I consciously chose to explore the dark.
I walked out in a better headspace!
A few mindshifts pulled me out from the slumps of my mind.
I am happy sharing these as my suggestions; hope you find them useful.
4 Mindshifts for a better headspace
A mere acceptance of your pain
Human race is mourning to bereavement,
Eyes around reflect deep down fears,
Destitution struck so hard the poor are starving to death,
Economies gravely affected; savings vaporizing than never,
Future looks ambiguous... the other side under dilemmas,
Like everything brought to a standstill!
Difficult time this... as there is only pain to attract from the outside world.
You never stood here before, and your mind is clueless about the way out.
The result: A chaotic mind that produces anxiety.
But my dear friend... you need to realize:
Not only you, your family, your city, or your country...
It’s the entire world that’s unsettled right now.
So what you are going through is fine. It’s the current normal!
Yes you need to accept this right now...
Better said... you might wonder:
How should I gracefully accept this change?
Just acknowledge you are not battling alone.
It's not only about you this time... we are in this together!
This offers you strength to stand in solidarity, as we people are kind of sharing identical pain.
It brings the acceptance you need!
Trust me... Acceptance of pain is that reliever that never allows your pain turn into suffering.
Consciously experience the biggest blessing — You are Alive!
You are blessed to be alive, sitting at home, comfortable with your family, away from the virus, getting enough luxuries for a healthy living.
You got to feel grateful for this!
You are fortunate than millions suffering in this pandemic. Please don't let that feeling of gratitude die in your sub-consciousness.
If I ask you:
Did you experience the fear of being asymptomatic to Covid-19 at any point?
I think many of us would admit:
Yes... I felt that... just for a little... but I did!
If...
The Most Successful Failure…
Not only an intriguing title; I'll also make sure that the article is worth reading...
Step by step, we shall try to get into it. First of all, let us try to approach the word ‘SUCCESS.'
How does one define success?
Commonly, Success can be defined as the accomplishment of goals and objectives. For some people, the definition of success could also be the triumph over the competitors. What else? Yes, for some people, success could be reaching the top in their respective work fields. Everyone perceives success in their own peculiar way. The definition of success keeps on changing with people, time and situation.
Finding it boring??? Hold on, some interesting observations about to begin!!!
There is no denying the fact that only a few feelings can match the magical feeling of being successful. All the positive emotions can be attached to success such as happiness, rejoice, pleasure, satisfaction, euphoria, jubilation, etc.
Let us sink in deeper to unlock the other side of the story...
A few heartfelt questions:
Is the journey en-route all that beautiful like the results?
Does success come all that easy?
Are there any shortcuts to success?
Do the successful people undergo the same emotions en-route success journey like they feel after succeeding?
Let us uncover the darker side of success
A few successful realizations:
'Success is that lively and elusive mask of realization, which covers the various lifeless faces of failures.'
Baffled? I shall explain it to you...
One success story comprises of many stories of failures. Yes, there is also a dark and gloomy side of every success story. It is that phase which nobody is aware of, except for the person who has traveled that journey alone. Only a few get out strong and victorious from this phase... And those few individuals are called 'Successful People'.
We all get attracted to successful individuals who are related to our respective fields, right? But how many of us have tried to figure out that why do we get attracted towards them? Let's find out...
Some in-depth realizations!!!
Success comes along with many luring elements with it.
Some people get lured by the money, which comes along with success. Some get drawn towards the power. Some get fascinated by the glamor attached to it. Some get attracted towards the lifestyles of successful people, while some get attracted towards their achievements. There are also some individuals who get attracted towards the passion of the successful people.
Everyone has their reasons to get drawn towards success and successful people.
But let me ask you...
Have you ever tried to follow the path to success of our idols?
Have you sought to find out how painful their success journey has been?
Have you tried to find out the sacrifices they had made to reach there?
Have you sought to find out the hardships and failures they had to face before succeeding?
Are you ready to endure and struggle like they did?
These questions indeed induce a painful realization. It is because everyone wants to succeed, nobody wants to fail. What we want are results....
An open letter to a depressed who encounters suicidal thoughts
Is your mind crumbling under the pressure to deliver for your loved ones?
Are you choking for breath under the fear of society and relationships judging your every move?
Is your unworthy job or shaming unemployment raising serious allegations on your capabilities, and you cannot get over your self-judgments?
Or maybe you have everything you desire, but there's still a void, an emptiness obscuring the clarity, and the gray follows where you have no answers to your monkey mind.
If you are any of the many of us, exhale out your loneliness as it's not only your story.
And we don’t have to commit suicide to get ourselves heard.
Yes I used the word Suicide because this is how far depressive thoughts take us sometimes, till the edge of an end.
I promise we shall overcome it together.
How does depression feel like?
Although there are different types of depression, I'll try to express that generic feeling in depression I encounter in bouts at uncertain intervals.
In my experience, depression feels like:
someone is sitting inside my head constantly judging.
a burden to live for the people who are toying with my emotions to fulfill their undue expectations.
a loser who never was, and will never be worthy enough.
a rat who wants to hide in a hole where society can’t see.
pain is endless suffering.
Even if there is no reason to feel sad, I cannot find any reason to feel happy.
The quandary elevates further where feelings enter the void and there are no expressions at all.
That's when I’m convinced the life on the other side is better.
Ouch! it hurts to accept this, but that’s how the face of depression looks like in the form of prolonged sorrow turning on the gloominess where joy seems beyond reach.
Trails of recovery in broken pieces
This is an interesting detail of what happened after an intense suicidal thought.
In the silence of the dark, when I thought it's all over, there was a flash of nostalgic memories sending a cool breeze to the face of divine soul.
I felt absolute peace ever
While eying death as close, my stress, fear, anxiety, sorrow, suffering, possessions, identifications, all suddenly dropped completely.
It was the lightest I ever felt.
I don't know how, but a wave grew out of the blue that swept all the temporary dwellings, each false projection of mind.
I sensed freedom, and that provoked a nothing-to-lose attitude that was ready to accept the now and welcome the new.
Now I was not wandering unconsciously inside the illusionary boundaries of mind.
There was a will to taste every challenge without a drop of complacency.
I was singing on the rocks, dancing in the mountains, so to speak.
I was feeling my soul beyond thoughts and emotions.
It was an experience where I was celebrating my breaths like a comeback from something as devastating as a suicidal thought.
I was feeling it, the inhales, and the exhales, sinking deeper with each conscious breath.
Yes the power of now was magical as everything was flowing effortlessly then and there.
Those moments transpired a recovery.
Unlike before, I don't live in the smugness of realized...
Do Whatever You Feel; Feel Whatever You Do…
This article is going to be an interesting one...
To begin with, let me give you an insight into why is it essential to revive the feel...
Feel is the essence of happiness. Feelings are the best judge to distinguish between the things you like and which you don’t.
Even you must have experienced that time falls short while doing anything you enjoy. It is because of the involvement of feel in your work. On the contrary, the time slowly limps while doing anything you don't enjoy. Again, it is because the sincere feel to perform it is missing.
Therefore, you must try to do things you feel to do. When you feel it, you will be able to love it.
Subsequently, when you do things which you love, you will be able to enjoy it. When you enjoy it, you give it a chance to turn it into your passion. My dear friend, if you do anything passionately, it infuses a powerful self-belief you. Finally, things start happening in your favor.
A few heartfelt realizations...
Your work must make you happy. Summon into minds that if your work is not making you happy, there is a lot to ponder upon. If your work is not energizing you, something is not right.
Straight out, if your work is tiring you, IT IS NOT YOUR WORK.
Be mindful of the fact that excellence in any field requires the feel to do and perform. Feel releases an active energy to perform a task dedicatedly. You can say that the feel associated with your works is the mantra of success.
By now, I am sure you must be realized that why is it important to do whatever you feel. Better said than done, is it so easy? Is life so lenient on us?
Let's find out...
The Reverse formula ...
We can say that it is the ideal condition we were talking about. Everyone does not get the opportunity to pursue their passion and follow their dreams.
Time and Situations are not always perfect where you do things according to your preferences and choices. Not even that, sometimes you are even forced to do things which you don’t feel to do.
Factors like upbringing, surrounding social environment, situations of every individual are different and classified. Everyone does not get an opportunity to do whatever they feel.
Some compromise for their loved ones and some compromise because they don't have any loved ones. And this is what life is all about...Adjustments.
Many people have to adjust and adapt themselves as per time and situation. There are many individuals who have to comply with circumstances to earn bread without any other option available.
No wonder, life is unpredictable with twists and turns. We don’t always get an opportunity to set the dancing tune for ourselves.
Therefore, it is essential for us to take things positively with the right attitude. And this is when the reverse formula works...
When you can't do whatever you feel, start feeling whatever you do...
TIME FOR SOME HAPPY REALIZATIONS:
Crying over your plight or surrendering to an unfavorable situation is...
What is right and what is wrong?
Am I right or am I wrong?
This question comes to your mind before and after any action. Let us try to find an answer.
Dear friend, you have your right-wrong beliefs in different spheres- personal, professional, political, economic and so on. But a person’s life mainly revolves around two spheres-personal and professional.
Involving these two spheres, let us take the help of illustrations to unlock the right and wrong beliefs.
You can have the right and wrong beliefs about:
Situations
People
Let us take a situation-based instance from the personal sphere...
If I ask you... Is God right or wrong? This question sounds weird, but trust me it’s logical. Please answer it…
Did you feel that your answer is biased to your current situation? Confused? Let me clear this out for you.
Suppose, your today is a fairytale with happiness all around. No wonder, for you, God is absolutely right!
God forbid but assume the other side… You surfaced a sudden loss or a failure. Something shattered your life and there’s sadness all around. If I ask you the same question, God will be wrong.
Yes, it happens with almost every individual.
Your answer today is dependent on your current situation. You felt it, right? And this happens with most of us. The spontaneity to react to a situation bypasses the concepts of right and wrong.
Let us take the example of people in your professional sphere...
If I ask you whether your boss is right or wrong?
Your answer will be based on the current tuning with him.
The day when he applauds you or offers you incentives or talks about your salary raise, he is right. But the day when he screams at you or overburdens you with work, the same boss is wrong.
The same thinking is applicable when you are the boss...The day you see your employee devoting extra time to work, cracking a deal, achieving targets, he is right... and when he takes long leaves, asks for a salary hike, commits mistakes, he is wrong.
One observation drawn is you adjust your right and wrong as per time and situation you are in...
Let us find out whether this adjustment is justified…
Here’s the interesting part...
You are just another person who makes a choice as per your convenience of time and situation. Likewise, others are doing it. And there is nothing wrong with it.
My dear friend, you are just a slave to our priorities. Your right and wrong are molded as per time and situation you in. It is all about your priorities and you need not feel sorry for the same. It is the practicality of the real world. And there is nothing much you can change about it. So let us stop judging people and situations, and stop labeling them as right or wrong...
An eye opener...
When your life is loaded with materialistic options, you might feel that thinking always about the money is wrong. But God forbid, when you cannot fulfill your necessities of life, all you want is money.
Now tell me whether you are right or wrong? Will you judge yourself now?
I am sure you’ll not…
Time for in-depth realizations!!!
You...
I fear to become a father of a daughter, not ashamed to accept it.
Becoming a father is a boon. Becoming a father of a girl child is a bigger blessing. most of the fathers know what their daughter means to them.
However, having accepted this, I’m sorry to admit that I am not sure whether I want to become a father of a daughter...
Here I begin... what I feel and why I feel so!!!
My wife is expecting a baby. She is on top of the world. I cannot express how overjoyed she is. Everyone in the family is happy. But if you ask about my feelings, it’s a mixed feeling. Just not able to put it down into words.
I am excited but at the same time; I am nervous. I am not sure whether I shall be able to justify the responsibilities of a father. One thing which always scares me–responsibilities.
I still remember the day she told me she missed her monthlies…. I freaked out; I was shocked. Haha…quite contrary to the response she was expecting. At least I can laugh it off today.
Now she is 6 months pregnant and yes, the feeling of a to-be father has completely sunk in. It’s not that I had to accept it and so such a feeling. No, not at all. To be honest, it’s a magical feeling.
All the fathers and to-be fathers can know how it feels when your wife makes you feel your child’s kicks inside the womb. Not to forget the feel of topsy-turvy movements, swear on God, apprehensions if any, are flushed out at that time.
Everyone in the family is waiting for that time, they call it the D-day. And now, my family along with friends and relatives are asking us, what are you expecting- a boy or a girl? One of the few big things they want to know from you at that time.
Well, my answer to them is clear, ‘I don’t care, only my child should be healthy at the time of birth, that’s it.’
Huh...... really? Do I feel this way? Does my mind has the same clarity as my words?
Well, I am sorry but I am not sure.
‘I don’t care’ is what I always believed but not today. There are a lot of uncertainties and unanswered questions today.
Don’t worry about my wife’s choice because they will not judge her choice. But somehow I think if a to-be father wants a son and not a daughter, he is judged and questioned. And the same is happening to me. I fear that everyone, including my family, will judge my decision.
But now, it’s high-time I need to tell the reasons behind my answer. Moreover, I want to answer on behalf of many who think alike but prefer to stay silent.
First of all, I am not a male chauvinist. I am not that dirty narrow-minded pig who supports gender inequality.
No, I am not looking at a maybe-son as my successor and to tell the truth, I am strictly against the dowry system.
Rest assured, I am not killing my maybe-daughter inside the womb either. I respect...
Careful! Your mirror at home is lying
We are hooked to a mirror since our diaper days. We love it... right?
In fact, a mirror at home is a necessity. Why shouldn’t it be? It is the mirror which makes us conscious of our appearance.
I have been stating the obvious but these statements have many untold stories to tell. To begin with, let me introspect you with a few questions...
Spare a minute to ask yourself...
Is your mirror reflecting your real appearance?
Do you really know who you are?
Are you proud of your appearance?
If any of these questions are triggering your self-analysis mode... congratulations!!!! You passed the self-introspection test.
If not, face your mirror at home and ask yourself these questions again.
A realization shall pinch you where you'll get to know 'the mirror at your home is lying' and your appearance is deceptive.
Yes, not only the outer appearance but also we have an inner appearance which is the intangible face of the appearance. And both the appearances together define our real appearance.
The inner appearance... thought-provoking... isn’t it?
As they say... “beauty lies within”, the inner appearance is the real beauty of an individual irrespective of their outer appearance.
But shockingly, the definition of the word “appearance” to most of us is mere physical looks. Majority of us are not one-to-one with our originality-our inner appearance.
And this leads straight to one intriguing question...
When the mirror at home reveals the outer appearance, is there a mirror which reveals our inner appearance?
Yes, everyone has it... few people use it!
Allow me to unveil the mirror reflecting our inner appearance...
Much like a mirror at home which reflects our outer-appearance,
Self-awareness is a mirror which reflects our inner-appearance.
According to Wikipedia “Self-awareness is the capacity for introspection and the ability to recognize oneself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals.” It is the mirror which is the real depictor of our appearance.
Shockingly, most of us look different in the mirror of self-awareness and the mirror at home. While the mirror at home showcases a new identity daily, the mirror of self-awareness always has a true story to tell.
Differences between the two mirrors...
Unlike the mirror at home, the mirror of self-awareness does not have a physical existence. It is inbuilt inside everyone.
The mirror at home makes us presentable to the outside world while the mirror of self-awareness makes us presentable to ourselves.
While the mirror at home reflects our body, the mirror of self-awareness reflects our soul.
We might deceive the mirror at home wearing a sheet of lie driven by the manipulative mind. We cannot deceive the mirror of self-awareness driven by the pure soul... no lies, no imitation, no look-alike.
Thought provoking...
A t-shirt and shorts, messy hair, no lenses or shades, no jewelry, no-belly tuckers, no high-heels... this is the how we are at home, our originality, right?
But when we move out, every outing has a new look... different clothes, hair-styles, make-up... all to look beautiful.
But does that make you beautiful? Do you realize you are only changing your looks for the outer world?
You don’t realize this way, you’re not beautifying...
Define Morals and Why are They Important?
Morals are the basic understandings, values, and beliefs of a particular person or a group or a culture that defines how we should live our life. Sometimes, these are written or expressed in books; sometimes these are words of great people whom we believe.
Morals are universal teachings that we try to practice every day. Morals are ideal in themselves. They help us in choosing a response to a particular situation. Ideally, they teach the concept of right and wrong.
Now, when a person believes in these teachings or values and acts accordingly in his day to day life, then these beliefs become a trait of that person. For instance, one should be loyal, is a belief. Loyalty becomes the character of that person. Therefore, we must summon into minds that we build our character on the ideas of our morals.
Building a morale is a continuous process, which takes time. It is not a one-day phenomenon. A person's upbringing also plays a dominant role in the cultivation of values and morals. Therefore, it also becomes the responsibility of the parents to nurture their child well. Also, guide them to follow the right path.
Why is there so much negativity in this world?
Straight out, it is your way of looking at things and people. Negativity is only the one side of the coin. Yes, there could be many things happening around you that you don’t like.
In fact, there are two set of things leading to negativity...
Things happening around you, which can be seen by everyone...
Every another day, you read the newspapers or scroll down on facebook to find out about the brutal crimes, the freaking accidents, the untimely demises, the deadly diseases, the uprooting poverty and many such incidents to affect you adversely for quite some time.
Things happening inside you, which can only be seen by you...
It is good to be self-aware but yes, you may not always look beautiful when you see yourself in the mirror. And when you don't do something about the same, it infuses elements fuelling negativity. Those elements are jealousy, comparison with others, pervert thoughts, materialistic addiction, self-harming thoughts and so on.
Interestingly, there is a sub-category in this aspect. And this category is negativity because of expectations.
Always remember that expectations from people and of people, both infuses negativity. It is because sometimes the expectations are fulfilled and sometimes not. And when the expectations fail because of betrayals, broken trusts or failures, it's by-product feeling induces negativity.
If are not a victim of it yet, keep sailing the way you are. And if you have gone through it, not a problem either. The only thing is that you learned it the hard way. The good thing about these things happening to you is that it teaches you the best of life lessons, if you are ready to perceive it that way.
The worst part...
When you cannot stop and change the wrong happenings, it leads to negativity. See, there are different kinds of people living on this planet. All are different and somewhere that is the cause of stability as well.
If you ask me how to get rid of it...
You cannot change the course of nature. Everything is not under your control. But yes, you are fully in control of the things happening around you and inside you. And if something is happening wrong, be aware of it and take the responsibility of changing it.
Nonetheless, what you can do is see the other side of the coin; THE POSITIVE SIDE. There could also be people who love you. There could be many things and situations which are favorable to you. There could be your credentials and achievements, which might give you a sense of pride and self-motivation. Friends, why are you not able to feel and realize it? The reason could be you are too busy sniffing the negativity than to count your blessings.
What else you can do is start expressing your negativity in any form, be it by speaking out, writing, exercising, be it any form as you look. But never retain it inside. You know, expressing negativity in any form is also your deliberate attempt to convert your negativity into positivity.
Time for some Practical Realizations...
Look, the ideal conditions are not...
I lost because I competed… with others
Life is not a race and hence not a competition you can define by winning or losing. It’s an exploration journey, it’s your exploration journey where you are the lone traveller. And because you are alone in your journey, there is no one with whom you can compete and compare with, except one person... yourself.
Someone has rightly said:
“If you continuously compete with others, you become bitter,
But if You continuously compete with yourself, you become better.”
But are you realizing it?
The biggest hindrances restricting self-development today are nothing but comparison and competition with others, without realizing that it is impossible.
This is where the problem lies where life-journey becomes a never-ending struggle!!!
Be it...
a science-subject -scorecard or a cricket-run-scorecard...
a debate or an entrance exam...
for a government job or a private job...
for money or for a position...
the physical looks or mental looks...
You are competing, not with oneself but with others.
Even in the personal sphere... be it the parents, or be it the children... be it the siblings, be it the friends... everyone is competing with each other.
It is a sad state but yes, it is happening. And this is what you need to get rid off...
But before we move on to the solutions, do you know there are two journeys you are traveling? Yes...you read it right!
Your journey is not confined to your out-world travel, but also your in-world travel. Out-world and In-world travel... sounds strange, huh?
So allow me to talk about both the journeys for a better understanding:
When we talk about the out-world journey, it begins as soon as you step out of your home. You go to different places, be it your workplace or a hangout place, you are always traveling on your out-world journey. Even the distance you travel to reach these destinations are a part of this journey.
During this journey, one thing for sure is that you see new faces and meet new people in your personal and professional spheres. And as soon as you meet them, the first thing your mind does is that it judges them.
Those judgments are sometimes out of insecurities, sometimes out of dominance; sometimes out of inferiorities, sometimes out of superiorities; sometimes based on physical appearance and sometimes based on mental appearance.
These judgments initiate comparisons where you compare yourself to others. And this comparison gives way to competitions with them.
I am sorry but this is happening to most of us.
But let me tell that if you are competing with others in your out-world journey, it means you are not traveling well in your in-world journey.
My dear friend, it’s time to unveil your in-world journey ...the journey that sets the foundation of your out-world journey, the journey which you don’t travel well.
Your in-world journey is nothing but your journey within yourself. It is your self-exploration journey in which you get to know yourself bigger and better. This journey is a gateway to self-realization and self-actualization.
Your in-world journey enables you to explore your positives-negatives, strengths-weakness, comfort-fear, and many other inner-self attributes.
You need to travel well in this journey to...