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Success and Happiness

There are two bulls inside us fighting. Who’s winning?

My dear friend, starting from head-tail, good-evil, right-wrong, everything is double-faced. Even a story or a debate has two angles. And you know what, we, the humans are no different. The fact which we all need to get acquainted with is that we have two bulls inside us fighting with each other. Let’s find out who wins? Naturally, our physical body needs food. It is the food we eat which keeps us up and running. Without a second thought, food is the fuel for the physical body. But one thing to observe is the food we eat, the diet we follow is our choice… healthy or unhealthy? And there is a difference in how we feel following either of the diets. While healthy food makes us feel fresh and energy-boosted, the unhealthy food lowers our energy and freshness level. No brainer, you know these things, but there is a reason I am saying this... My dear friend, much like our physical body, which runs on what we eat, our mental body runs on what we feed. I’ll come straight to the point, there are two bulls inside our mind. These bulls feed on two different feeds. Interestingly, only one feed is available at a point. As a result, one bull is always hungry, and the other bull is always full. And so, the fight is always on between the two to get their respective feed. Who are these bulls? Why do they fight? What is their food? Why can’t we feed them together? What is the source of their food? These might be some of your questions seeking answers.  Yes, now the time has come to meet both the bulls... Let us meet the first bull: This bull is always happy, positive, compassionate, cheerful, stress-free, high on inner-self attributes, and hence high on life. I call it the Saint’s bull, which is always hungry for positive emotions. It feeds on joy, gratitude, pride, love which it attracts from the outside world. We can say it is the healthy food which the saint’s bull craves for!!! Let us meet the second bull: This bull inside us is always sad, angry, frustrated, low in inner-self attributes, and hence is depressed all the time. I call it a Demon’s bull, which is always hungry for negative emotions. This bull feeds on hatred, stress, jealousy which it attracts from the outside world. We can conclude that it is the unhealthy food which the demon’s bull craves for!!! Now, when we have met both the bulls, let’s talk about the availability of feed for the bulls.  Situations providing food to the Saint’s bull: The arrival of a newborn Monetary gains and profits Job promotion Success in any competitive field Accomplishment of goals A celebration party These are some situations from our personal and professional sphere in which the saint’s bull gets the feed from the outside world. This is why we feel happy and joyous in these situations. Let us find out the instances which provide food to the demon’s bull: Loss of life of a loved one Monetary Losses Failure in a competition Embarrassments and Criticisms In these situations, the only feed available from...

How to deal with negative emotions which are dominant over my happiness?

First of all, you are not a robot, who will not feel anything. It is quite human to feel things and allow the emotions act accordingly. However, what creates a problem is staying in the same mode for an elongated time. It is very healthy to experience emotions. Nonetheless, what's important is never hold the emotions inside you over a long period. It is equally essential to treat the negative emotions same as the positive emotions. A person who treats a failure same as his/her success doesn’t have to search for happiness outside.  There are few things which will help you to stay away from negativity: -A healthy body holds a healthy brain. This mind helps us to make decisions. Therefore, eat healthy to think healthy. - Meditate for inner peace and happiness. The people who always stay happy and stress-free are the ones who know how to connect with their inner self.   -It is equally important to connect with people. Therefore, love, laugh, enjoy with the people around you.  The World itself is an inspiration.   - Our surrounding plays a significant role in our upbringing. Therefore, it is important to have good friends; few friends doesn't matter.  -Never look for a  reason to be happy. You, yourself are the biggest reason for your happiness. -Treat yourself on small achievements. Always try to be self-motivated. -Make peace with your past. Never over-think about situations that hurt you in the past. -Be compassionate.Make somebody happy. It creates a euphoric sensation within you and makes you a better person. Be kind and generous to people who are less privileged than you.  You know yourself better than others. So, start listening to yourself and stay away from negativity.  

WHY AND HOW IS SELF-CONFIDENCE IMPORTANT?

Even if you are not a winner, appear like one. It is one of the most important traits of your personality to lead a healthy life. It is the reflection of your self-belief. A confident person lives far better life than a person with low self- confidence. Well, there are simple things that help in acquiring this particular trait. One is your lifestyle. Most of the times, your physical appearance reflects your self-confidence. Now, do not confuse between your looks and appearance. Your looks are not under your control, but you can always monitor the way you appear. Your presence creates your aura, which always has to be compelling to look self-confident. Always keep in mind that an early bird catches the most worms. A fit person appears more confident than others. Therefore, your appearance makes a lot of impact on the people you meet. Moreover, a smile can do wonders. A smile welcomes a smile. A happy person invites others to converse with him/her. Make eye contact and maintain your body posture while talking. You can practice it in front of the mirror. Rest assured, it helps. Moreover, you must know what to speak. Never try to impress others with false statements. At the same time, never try to impose your ideas on others. There is a thin line between confidence and arrogance.   Be confident in thinking and attitude. Talk to random person whenever you get a chance. Be generous and kind but don’t over apologize. Don’t worry, nobody is perfect, so tie your laces and take on the world.          

Why is there so much negativity in this world?

Straight out, it is your way of looking at things and people. Negativity is only the one side of the coin. Yes, there could be many things happening around you that you don’t like. In fact, there are two set of things leading to negativity... Things happening around you, which can be seen by everyone... Every another day, you read the newspapers or scroll down on facebook to find out about the brutal crimes, the freaking accidents, the untimely demises, the deadly diseases, the uprooting poverty and many such incidents to affect you adversely for quite some time. Things happening inside you, which can only be seen by you... It is good to be self-aware but yes, you may not always look beautiful when you see yourself in the mirror. And when you don't do something about the same, it infuses elements fuelling negativity. Those elements are jealousy, comparison with others, pervert thoughts, materialistic addiction, self-harming thoughts and so on. Interestingly, there is a sub-category in this aspect. And this category is negativity because of expectations. Always remember that expectations from people and of people, both infuses negativity. It is because sometimes the expectations are fulfilled and sometimes not. And when the expectations fail because of betrayals, broken trusts or failures, it's by-product feeling induces negativity. If are not a victim of it yet, keep sailing the way you are. And if you have gone through it, not a problem either. The only thing is that you learned it the hard way. The good thing about these things happening to you is that it teaches you the best of life lessons, if you are ready to perceive it that way. The worst part... When you cannot stop and change the wrong happenings, it leads to negativity. See, there are different kinds of people living on this planet. All are different and somewhere that is the cause of stability as well. If you ask me how to get rid of it... You cannot change the course of nature. Everything is not under your control. But yes, you are fully in control of the things happening around you and inside you. And if something is happening wrong, be aware of it and take the responsibility of changing it. Nonetheless, what you can do is see the other side of the coin; THE POSITIVE SIDE. There could also be people who love you. There could be many things and situations which are favorable to you. There could be your credentials and achievements, which might give you a sense of pride and self-motivation. Friends, why are you not able to feel and realize it? The reason could be you are too busy sniffing the negativity than to count your blessings. What else you can do is start expressing your negativity in any form, be it by speaking out, writing, exercising, be it any form as you look. But never retain it inside. You know, expressing negativity in any form is also your deliberate attempt to convert your negativity into positivity. Time for some Practical Realizations...  Look, the ideal conditions are not...

Materialistic Happiness=Outside Happiness=Momentary Happiness=Dependent Happiness=Illusive Happiness

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Like many of my other write-ups, this article also starts with a small story, so that I can fully connect with you.  A short story: Once, there was a sparrow. She realized that her chick is fully grown up. She did not want the child sparrow to be dependent on her anymore. She wanted her child to experience the life austerities and struggles. After all, her chick had experienced all the comforts.  She felt that it was the right time for her chick to experience and challenge the other side of life. One day, she gave her valuable life lessons and made her aware of the cruel realities of life. Finally, she made her realize that now the time has come where her chick should learn how to live an independent life.   So, the mother sparrow asked her chick to build a nest on its own. She advised her to be very careful while making it. The baby sparrow fled here, there, everywhere to collect the twigs. While she was collecting the twigs, she came across a field covered with mustard plants. It was a beautiful yellow field full of mustard beans.  The field was well plowed, and therefore, there were soft worms on that plowed field. Seeing that, the baby sparrow was overjoyed. No better food she could have asked for. The mother sparrow once came to see how her child was progressing. The baby sparrow narrated her mother how she is planning to prepare her nest on that plowed field. She described her everything; the mustard seeds, the flowers, and the worms. The baby sparrow thought that she has made her mother proud and was expecting a pat on the back. To her shock, there was a very stern look on her mother’s face. The mother sparrow wanted her child to be aware of the cons associated with her decision. It made the baby sparrow furious as she was very high on life and didn’t want to take any of her mother's advice. The concerned mother tried a lot to make her daughter realize, but all went in vain. The disheartened mother sparrow left.  The baby sparrow did not get affected by it at all. Without giving a second thought, she built her nest on the strongest branch of one of the trees in that particular field. It was a well-built swinging nest. Besides, it was all beautiful and colorful around.  The baby sparrow felt victorious that she did not have to move around in search of food. Within no time, she got addicted to the luxuries of life. Gradually, her wings could no longer support her weight. The baby sparrow started to feel dull, lethargic and sluggish. The weather changed, which added to her plight. Because of the weather change, the flowers began to fall, and the worms started to disappear. What more, one day a farmer came and harvested the entire field. The baby sparrow could hardly analyze what was happening around. What once looked like an ideal life turned out to be the worst of...

Express yourself to flush out the negativity

Allow me to begin with a small composition of mine: Speak Speak speak... you speak SPEAK WITH AUTHORITY, SPEAK WITH CLARITY... make sure you get heard when you speak Irrespective of the language YOU SPEAK... as long as you have a voice, you speak don’t wary the criticisms and the questions ... as long as you are right, you speak Don’t worry about losing them, FOR THE SAKE OF FINDING YOURSELF, you speak. To spit out the negativity, for the sake of positivity... gather courage only once to speak on their face and never behind, as long as they are wrong, you speak FOR THE SAKE YOUR RESPECT AND ESTEEM... SPEAK SPEAK SPEAK... YOU SPEAK Hope you liked it! Let's jump right into the nitty-gritty of expressing: Expressing is an introduction of your true self to the outside world. Whatever you are inside, just exhibit it outside. What you are and whatever you feel, just express yourself. Never feel afraid of it. Always remember: “You were born to be real, not to be perfect.” - Claire Baker And this applies to everyone. When you have the freedom of expression, use it to your advantage. You are probably wondering: Why is expressing important? Expressing is your deliberate attempt to convert the negativity felt into positivity. In the world full of lies and betrayals, it is difficult to stop feeling negative. But you need to understand that feeling negative is not a problem.  The problem arises when you keep that negativity within you and do not express it out. But when you express out, you unburden yourself and flush out the negativity.  To maintain transparency between your physical and mental appearance. In case you don't know: There are two facets of your appearance- physical and mental. Expressing acts as a mirror between the two. It ensures that whatever you feel from inside, you present it outside. This way, you are true to yourself and to others. There is no retention of negative feelings inside you to attract other negative energies. You always ride high on yourself via expressing. When you express your true self to others, it means you value your ideas, thoughts, and beliefs. No wonder, expressing is one of the best ways to develop self-love. The quote above says it all... When you express, you expose yourself in front of others. You reveal your true identity to them. In the process, people might get hurt. Many people might not like you. They can call you rude, offensive and aggressive. They might misunderstand you. However, the ones who deserve to be in your life will understand you gradually. They will accept you the way you are. No wonder, these people will be less. But they will be the ones whom you will find by your side every time you need them. It's your identity, this is the way you always are, independent of the person, time and situation. Feel proud! Look: Being nude is always better than being naked. Sounds silly? It's not: Being nude is your choice. It is when you uncover yourself by yourself. It‘s your discretion to expose yourself to others. It is the transparency you...

You Lose Via Expectations…

When people don't fulfill your expectations, you get hurt. Your undue expectation from people has become one big reason to feel negative.  Therefore, it is imperative to find out why these expectations and from whom are these expectations? Why do you expect and from whom do you expect? In today’s world, you expect from people because you want them to ‘Return the favor back.’ It is an obligation you anticipate from others in exchange for the good things you assume you did for them. It is the reason why you expect a reciprocation. Quickly, you need to understand that if you are counting on every acquaintance to fulfill your expectations, the matter of fact is that you are unreasonable and foolish. Supremely, your expectations could be from the ones whom you love, who are important to you. It might be from the people you care for, whom you respect, the ones with whom you share a strong bond and an active connection. Let's say, people are fulfilling every expectation of yours. But, what we need to comprehend is that everything is perfectly fine until people keep responding as per your expectations. The question is how long you will keep on getting your expectations fulfilled by others? How long will others carry the burden of meeting your expectations? The never-ending expectation process: Be mindful of the fact that the fulfillment of one expectation leads to the urge of the other. Gradually, it leads to an endless flow and to tell the truth, the chain breaks down one day. Yes, your feelings get hurt one day. Sometimes, the volume of that pain soars high to an extent where you tend to shift your perception of people who belong to you. By and by, you even form a negative opinion about those people. You begin to judge those people based on that particular situation in which they did not raise up to your expectation. You start to forget the positives associated with them. In due process, you don’t realize the value of that person in your spirits before this particular incident. And eventually, you lose that person.  Let me bombard a few questions on you... If you are demanding the ideal condition out of a person, are you an ideal person to demand it? How will you feel when you are on the other side of the table? Are you not wrong on your part if you are expecting people to respond according to you? Are you not judging people calling them wrong without knowing about their problems and situations? Maybe, they could have been in their world of problems when you were expecting from them. Or maybe they are the ones dwelling in their own aura and you are not able to perceive it. Sorry for being brutally honest but when you start putting conditions on expectations from others, you are wrong. Put it to yourself and ask yourself how do you feel about those people who impose their expectations on you? And when you are not able to meet their expectations, how do you feel about those judgemental...

4 Mindshifts During This Lockdown to Keep You in Sanity

4 Mindshifts During This Lockdown to Keep You in Sanity
The extended lockdown period... is it taking a toll on your mental health? Are you yearning to step out of lockdown to fulfill your desires? Is the pain of world outside transiting into your suffering? Do you struggle to utilize the Me time you never got before? Do you foresee uncertainties, leading to dilemmas, on the other side of pandemics? If any of these is happening with you during the Corona outbreak, your mind is turning into a theatre of psychological dramas. High time mate! You better stop engaging with your thoughts. Let’s understand what’s cooking A hell lot is happening around you, infact the whole world is suffering. Like too much to take! And amidst all these, the viral pictures of grief, remorse, sorrow, helplessness, are everywhere, in social media and news channels, making worse for the mind to sail smoothly with this life transition. The normal routine... regular thinking patterns... all disrupted! Nothing is motivating, nothing seems inspiring about the world right now. To add final nail to the coffin, this extended lockdown period! What all of it is resulting to? Overflowing thoughts... conspiring against each other, causing severe damage to your sanity. I was hit hard by lows during this quarantine. And as I always do, I consciously chose to explore the dark. I walked out in a better headspace! A few mindshifts pulled me out from the slumps of my mind. I am happy sharing these as my suggestions; hope you find them useful. 4 Mindshifts for a better headspace A mere acceptance of your pain Human race is mourning to bereavement, Eyes around reflect deep down fears, Destitution struck so hard the poor are starving to death, Economies gravely affected; savings vaporizing than never, Future looks ambiguous... the other side under dilemmas,  Like everything brought to a standstill! Difficult time this... as there is only pain to attract from the outside world. You never stood here before, and your mind is clueless about the way out. The result: A chaotic mind that produces anxiety. But my dear friend... you need to realize: Not only you, your family, your city, or your country... It’s the entire world that’s unsettled right now. So what you are going through is fine. It’s the current normal! Yes you need to accept this right now... Better said... you might wonder: How should I gracefully accept this change? Just acknowledge you are not battling alone. It's not only about you this time... we are in this together! This offers you strength to stand in solidarity, as we people are kind of sharing identical pain. It brings the acceptance you need! Trust me... Acceptance of pain is that reliever that never allows your pain turn into suffering. Consciously experience the biggest blessing — You are Alive! You are blessed to be alive, sitting at home, comfortable with your family, away from the virus, getting enough luxuries for a healthy living. You got to feel grateful for this! You are fortunate than millions suffering in this pandemic. Please don't let that feeling of gratitude die in your sub-consciousness. If I ask you:  Did you experience the fear of being asymptomatic to Covid-19 at any point? I think many of us would admit: Yes... I felt that... just for a little... but I did! If...

Why Failure and Success are Brothers from Different Mothers?

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Failure or Success- A perspective… When a coin is tossed, there's a 50% chance it will land upon the side you bet. Similar is our outcome in different chores we perform in our life. One major difference that differentiates our life with tossing of the coin is that we put in a lot of devotion and hard work in our efforts.  "Success is not final; failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts." ~Winston Churchill But similar to the tossing of a coin, those chores may result in either success or failure. Sometimes even after extreme hard work and perseverance, the outcome is a failure, leaving us shattered. What happens when failure is the outcome?  Failure is the outcome of mere bad luck or a minor fault which we don't realize while enduring. We regret about failures when all our efforts go in vain and nothing fruitful comes out.  We get disheartened, thinking we will never succeed and then delve into the domain of negative thoughts. Students failing in competitive exams, people facing rejections while seeking employment; Life has become a battlefield where success is adjourned as the winner, while failure is looked with pity, remorse, and guilt. This outlook needs tweaking. What to comprehend? Success is a destination, but it is the journey full of failures, that deserves an appreciation. ‘Success is that lively and elusive mask of realization, which covers the various lifeless faces of failures.’ Happy Realization People fail to realize that they would never commit that same mistake again in their lives ever. If they had tasted success in that only attempt then maybe this mistake would have cost them severely.  We need to realize that the failure causing such heart-wrenching grief to their heart, is just due to a minor mistake, a temporary glitch that can be rectified in the next attempt.  We need to realize quickly that we are not failures alone. Everyone, and I repeat, everyone who is successful has failed on numerous occasions to reach where he/she is. we just have to accept those glitches as normal, without overthinking about it. and move on, and move on. Obviously, it ain't easy, the reason we have fewer success stories. People have to take a huge leap of faith to do that. Even though society may blame you, criticize you at an unbearable level, trust me, you can bear them all, provided you compete with none other than oneself. The course of action: Analyze: This is the most crucial tool to avoid failures in the upcoming future. The secret to success lies in your failures. People have to just analyze them carefully and draw the point of errors or flaws, and vouch to never repeat them. Plan: Devise a new plan of approach omitting the mistakes you have analyzed. Use new techniques that you will be able to apply. Avoid sticking to the customary ones which have stopped delivering results. Enact: Apply the whole plan step by step and execute it as per your calculations. Don’t deviate in the greed of achieving more. In pursuit of greed, you may even lose what you aspire, which...

25 Ways to Achieve Anything  You want in Life

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Struggling to discover the success ways? As minors, most of us are fortunate to have parents guide us to our next move. In schools and colleges, we have teachers and professors as our mentors.    But as soon as we are independent, we have to battle out our success ways alone.   Is your question How to become successful still struggling to find the best answer? Rest easy! there are many like you striving to define life on their own terms. Yes… the best characteristic of this phase is it’s nondiscriminatory and spares none.  And when we’re all in this, let’s battle it out together. Everyone cannot afford the best of life coaches, and so, success tips to inject motivation is the need of the hour!   Allow me to offer: 25 ways to be successful, tips to achieve anything  you want in life Fail… to never repeat it again For me, Success is an elusive mask of realization covering lifeless faces of countless failures. Successful people think about failures as their favorite lessons. They don't criticize, instead, embrace them. Yes, there is no substitution to experiencing failures for teaching the best ways to be successful. Don’t be apprehensive about it. Taste failures to explore the possibilities of a breakdown, to never encounter them anymore, and eventually achieve success. Related: The Most Successful Failure Listen to your gut over people Today’s customary obstacle in our success ways is people’s advice, always ready irrespective we seek or not. What worse, we believe in most without trusting our instincts.My friend… only you have the right answers to your questions. Listen to everybody but authorize your instinct to make the final call. Stop expecting people to stop fulfilling their undue expectations When all have inner demons, let's combat like a one-man-army.Needing people to fulfill undue expectations seizes independence. You expect from people, they seek from you.This give-take relationship is infectious. Explore ways to do it yourself to negate the effect of people obstructing success ways. Related: You lose via expectations Never surrender to inevitable lows When we struggle to find ways to be successful, there comes a point when we hit the rock bottom. Every way out seems impossible. Hard time this!But again, this rough patch is customary to every individual and is the real test of patience. The best you can is allowing it move on with awareness, without judgments. Related: Let go the hard times Take breaks to prevent your drive transform into a baggage Sometimes, we push ourselves much into actions of achieving it takes a toll on the quality of output. Productivity suffers and exuberance fades away.Take it easy. No need to carry unnecessary load to overperform and lose enthusiasm in the process. Let it be slow, smooth, effortless. Go ask for help (Don't feel shy) Not every but a few steps in your struggle period need guiding light. You cannot analyze every dimension of problem by yourself because of a simple reason — you didn’t face it before. And the next step just doesn’t have an answer. So that’s fine if you seek help from someone to bail you out. That’s...

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