I lost because I competed… with others


Life is not a race and hence not a competition you can define by winning or losing. It’s an exploration journey, it’s your exploration journey where you are the lone traveller. And because you are alone in your journey, there is no one with whom you can compete and compare with, except one person… yourself. 

Someone has rightly said:

“If you continuously compete with others, you become bitter,

But if You continuously compete with yourself, you become better.” 


But are you realizing it?

The biggest hindrances restricting self-development today are nothing but comparison and competition with others, without realizing that it is impossible.

This is where the problem lies where life-journey becomes a never-ending struggle!!!

Be it…

  • a science-subject -scorecard or a cricket-run-scorecard…
  • a debate or an entrance exam…
  • for a government job or a private job…
  • for money or for a position…
  • the physical looks or mental looks…

You are competing, not with oneself but with others.

Even in the personal sphere… be it the parents, or be it the children… be it the siblings, be it the friends… everyone is competing with each other.

It is a sad state but yes, it is happening. And this is what you need to get rid off…

But before we move on to the solutions, do you know there are two journeys you are traveling? Yes…you read it right!

Your journey is not confined to your out-world travel, but also your in-world travel. Out-world and In-world travel… sounds strange, huh? 

So allow me to talk about both the journeys for a better understanding:

When we talk about the out-world journey, it begins as soon as you step out of your home. You go to different places, be it your workplace or a hangout place, you are always traveling on your out-world journey. Even the distance you travel to reach these destinations are a part of this journey.

During this journey, one thing for sure is that you see new faces and meet new people in your personal and professional spheres. And as soon as you meet them, the first thing your mind does is that it judges them.

Those judgments are sometimes out of insecurities, sometimes out of dominance; sometimes out of inferiorities, sometimes out of superiorities; sometimes based on physical appearance and sometimes based on mental appearance.

These judgments initiate comparisons where you compare yourself to others. And this comparison gives way to competitions with them.

I am sorry but this is happening to most of us.

But let me tell that if you are competing with others in your out-world journey, it means you are not traveling well in your in-world journey.

My dear friend, it’s time to unveil your in-world journey …the journey that sets the foundation of your out-world journey, the journey which you don’t travel well.

Your in-world journey is nothing but your journey within yourself. It is your self-exploration journey in which you get to know yourself bigger and better. This journey is a gateway to self-realization and self-actualization. 

Your in-world journey enables you to explore your positives-negatives, strengths-weakness, comfort-fear, and many other inner-self attributes.

You need to travel well in this journey to become an experienced traveler in your out-world journey. Because, only then, you stop getting affected by the people outside. Neither you judge others, nor you fear getting judged by them, and therefore, you never try to compete with them.

But what is wrong with you?

You are always competing with everyone without realizing that most of the times, you are losing.

Yes… you are losing yourself!!! 

You are so busy finding people’s weaknesses that you could not figure out yours. You are so keen to analyze their strengths that you could not sharpen yours.

Time for some Happy Realizations!

Better said than done… we are living in such a world where now and then, we are subjected to competitions. Even when we don’t want to, winning-losing defines the result.
The situations change but the definition of competition is always the same. Starting from marks in childhood to entrance exams in the teenage. Moving from bank-balance as adults to fitness tests in the old age, the competition always prevails!!!
My dear friend, let them call it a competition, but don’t dare you!
The best thing about non-competition with others is that you fear no one because you don’t have an opponent. Your performance is pressure-free which brings the best out of you.
And then, even your definition of ‘the best’ is variable because ‘the best in you’ always keeps on changing.
This is when your people don’t define your results. You win against yourself, you lose against yourself… as simple as that.
There is no room for jealousy, comparison, fear, anger, frustration, grudge, bullies, provokes, no negative emotions, no bullshit…
You are under the influence of your own aura where you give your best shot in whatever you do. This way, you always have a nothing-to-lose attitude, and it is always a win-win situation…


Only then:

  • definition of success is not winning, but to keep moving. 
  • you play the game of life on own strengths, not others’ weaknesses.
  • you don’t reveal your weaknesses to others but make sure you confront them.
  • the competition is healthy because you compete against yourself.
  • you can fight against your incapabilities, not against the capabilities of others.

A few heartfelt realizations: 

Everyone has a different technique, a different approach to handle problems and challenges. You never realize that yours is different too. And instead of comparing your approach to others, focus on your distinctness to get the best results.

Learn from others, even try to inculcate their good qualities, but don’t rob their qualities from them because you never can.

Sink into the mind that competition and comparison with others lead to inferiority or superiority. And both the feelings are self-disastrous. But when you compete against yourself, you win and lose for yourself… no superiorities-inferiorities!!!

Always remember that the difference between a failure and a loss is that you fail against yourself but you lose against others. 

Final words…

When you triumph without competing with others, you stay victorious for a longer period because you never beat them to taste it. So stop judging yourself on the metrics defined by others!!!

The comparisons and competitions are killing your ability to feel blessed. Please stop doing that. Everyone is wired different, our life-journeys are different, and so are our experiences!!!

Always remember: 

Neither I can attack like you, nor you can defend like me.

It is because we are fighting a different fight.

So let us stop comparing our fight;

Let us stop competing with one another.



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